Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
