i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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