Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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