Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
