are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
