You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
