He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
