She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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