before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How does one acquire holy water?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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