she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
