You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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