roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
