I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
