Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
