Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
