That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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