it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
