he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
