Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
