I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
