I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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