im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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