Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
