11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
