Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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