Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
