Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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