I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
