I wish I only lived at night.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
