just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
