I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
