he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
this hospital has no fireball
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
