i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
