I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
