Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
