Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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