I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
