So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
