1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
