she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
