and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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