But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
