guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
