well I can't set my house on fire every night
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
