My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
