Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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