so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
