Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
