I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
