KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
