You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize