youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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