Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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