Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize