she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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