god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
