I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Randomize
