Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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