We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
