need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it glows. i had to have it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
