Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
