just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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