Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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