It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
