Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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