My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
