If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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