Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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