im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
