You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
