i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
