FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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