She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
